Best advice on humanist funerals and celebrant readings in Glasgow

December 2019

Thu, 12 Dec 2019 11:45:53 GMT

2019 is almost gone. Not all our friends and family made it. Never take for granted the people you love. Be thankful for today, because, in one moment, your entire life could change. (taken from an unknown source)

New babies, Couples committing to one another, Family and friends dying have all taken place this year. Some bring grief, some joy, some uncertainty, we all have experienced one or all throughout the year. People have lost jobs, taken ill. Financial challenges. Others have achieved greatness, overcome challenges and taken control. Success!

Anniversaries arrive and tug at our hearts, bringing renewed anxiety or fear. Bringing back happy memories, of fun days, happier times, a tear of love slides down our cheek.

Sometimes we dwell on events that we feel brings us sadness and anger from the past. It is natural that we replay them and let the emotion take its hold of our hearts again. Serving us no good for our emotional state other than to keep you low and fret away a life which we should be enjoying.

I have been in this state for a large part of 2018/19, but with love and support from those around who genuinely care I have learned to let it go. Not to forget but to put it into perspective, after all, why should I allow someone so cruel and devious to rent space in my head when they couldn’t honour or respect my being when they knew me!

Christmas is approaching with everyone dashing around to buy the best present, make the best meal, have the best clothes to look fabulous in. Trying to impress or does it bring them joy? Look around you. Those who are dear to us have seen us, lived with us, know our life story. Some of us won’t have who we dearly want next to us on Christmas day. Money cannot buy this want. Has the commercial side of this holiday taken over from the true meaning of it?

I feel the joy, happiness, love, and kindness every moment spent with those close to me and not just on this holiday. I also feel like running away from them at times! Christmas is a celebration. People brought their gifts to show their love to the stable in Bethlehem, Could we try this all year round? A kind word, offer support, catch up to blether and remember funny times when someone feels low? Even offering a lift to the shops. Helping hand in the garden. Just being present is the best gift of all.

Today is my last day of Panto. A tradition set in our history. Bringing together like-minded people of all ages to entertain, make you laugh and enjoy yourself. We have fun pulling it all together, although Directors don’t always see the fun side during rehearsals, with perseverance we all get there! Audiences of all ages purchase their tickets well in advance to ensure they soak up some of the theatre magic and tradition which hopefully will remain for years to come. Some love to be present to hear children laugh at the silliness before them! Some sweetie throwing and backchat are what make panto! A time to share and time for reflecting in future years with memories for the next generation.

Not all our friends and family made it. We have their loving memory to hold, Love is still abundant.

Never take for granted the people you love. Hold them close in your heart where they will remain for all of your life.

Try not to let unhappy thoughts rule. Take each minute to write your own legacy for other memories to cherish.

Try not to lose love and kindness in favour of wanting to impress.

Cherish those moments with family and friends, look out for one another. Watching my Grandchildren, and few other close friends children are so humbling and beautiful. It is all I need to live a contented life while I cope with the day to day of normal life.

From ALL at Cherished Reflections , we wish you a Merry Christmas

Be thankful for today, because, in one moment, your entire life could change.

The Best Presents We Can't Wrap

Tue, 12 Nov 2019 21:52:23 GMT

As we remember those who bravely and without sacrifice left home to fight for our future freedom we are truly thankful for their biggest sacrifice. Their life. Even those who returned left some part of them behind.

Families down through the generations all have stories to tell of their Great Uncle, Grandfather, Father, Brother, Sister, Great Aunt, Grandmother, Mother, Friend, Cousin who left with nothing but the kit they were provided with when they signed up to face uncharted travels with great pride for their country. Not forgetting their fear of what was to come.

A little of this seems forgotten as we direct our attention to Halloween and Guy Fawks with a few days on either side of the dates enjoying parties and setting off fireworks. We should be enjoying the dressing up and knocking on doors for sweets in return for a good joke or song! Watching Children’s faces light up in fancy dress. We should enjoy the 5th of November, and maybe today there are many of us who wish Guy had been successful! The 11th is a somber day that brings sadness, love, honour and respect for what it stands for.

Since then, before then and during the war years there have been many lives lost from illness, tragedy, old age and I wonder how we remember those who have gone? We do, in a British Tradition, prepare a Funeral with a Service and enjoy a tea after to share the memories. But once this day is over, do we speak of those people again?

As a Celebrant helping families to remember the life of someone dear is always an honour to be asked to do. To hear people remembering the fun times, the laughter, the happy adventures, the mistakes, but always the gratitude for having the person in their life. No matter how difficult, challenging or loving the relationship was to celebrate with close family and friends to prepare the future knowing they will no longer be present in our physical life. We all will Remember all we have known through our living life and many of us continue to chat amongst ourselves when memories pop up.

As we approach the busiest of Holidays, let us not forget the people who are no longer here to accept a traditionally wrapped gift. For their life and input into our lives is a gift we shared which will remain in our hearts forever.

The best presents we can’t wrap. They are the people we share, grow in laughter and sorrow. Don’t wait for the memory. Wrap others in love now while it can be shared. Don’t wait until the Funeral to share your feelings. Make a difference by giving your presence and not your presents.

We will always Remember what our forefathers have sacrificed and set out for our future. We will always remember as we live we are laying the foundations for future generations.

Much love and support.

Just a thought

Mon, 29 Apr 2019 09:04:35 GMT

How often do we hear the words, ‘why didn’t she/he tell me?

How often do we hear the words, ‘why didn’t she/he tell me? How did I miss the signs? If only?’

My role as a celebrant brings me close to the raw side of death within families. Before I continue please do not think I am judging anyone or relating to anyone in particular. I am putting thoughts out here and encourage your engagement.

Life nowadays gives us access to more information through the web and social media than ever before, at a click on the screen we can have information readily in front of us, sometimes it serves a purpose however there are times when we can access ‘things’ that previous generations never came into contact with. In the past, the thought of the time to search through libraries and encyclopaedias stopped many from seeking the learning they desired. What we did do, was to speak. Speak! We shared our learnings with one another, our dreams, our worries. We looked out for one another. I am not saying we don't do these things now but our lives and economic climate have shifted.

Individuals won’t accept certain behaviours from others. As a result, they deal with it in their own way, we make decisions on what we share and where we share it. As we engage more and more with social media we begin to ‘get good’ at portraying a person we want the world to see. We add the layers to show everyone my world is amazing! I am always happy. I am confident. I am in control. No one should ask me how I am cos I am letting you all know that my world is one cracking great journey! Without the ‘old way’ of our physical body language being observed by Granny when we all went for a visit on a Tuesday night, we don't see the people who love us the most, who in the past would have rung alarm bells. In a discreet fashion, of course!

We strive on. One issue after another is added under the mask we wear.

I am all for us having our own space, own televisions, laptops, and mobiles but have they taken us over? I recall shouting at my mum and dad it wasn’t fair my brother got a new guitar and I got a hair dryer! Mum and dad had to figure out what to get for us at a price they could afford and they didn't always get it correct! I can recall the look that said it all. Don't even think about whatever it was! It just isn't happening. But we were close. If I said we have one television I would be called out a liar as my Dad was a television engineer and our house was full of broken tellies! However, I refer to as a family we had one television and we chatted about who was watching what and when. Both parents worked so we could live a decent life. Nothing glamourous and no pressure to keep up with the neighbours. We had pets we looked after. We heard the funny stories from our grandparents about when our parents were growing up and brought home mice, cats and stray dogs and newly hatched caterpillars and tadpoles! The joy of seeing a new bike lying against the wall in the hall and asking who’s bike it was, and being told ‘yours!’ Mine? Why? It wasn’t Christmas or my birthday. No Dad had seen you out sharing your friend’s bike and could see you were having fun so he put some money by and bought you a brand-new bike. Oh my. How did that feel? How did mum and dad feel? I am not saying there weren’t troubles, of course, there were. Growing up in that environment we learned skills to take us through our life’s journey.

But then it all changed.

Life threw curveballs to us all.

Life got harder. We moved away from our roots in search of a better life, A vision of wealth, home ownership, cars, luxuries. We wanted more. We expected more. Nothing wrong with this at all. We should all dream big! Go for what we want! What goals we set in life for ourselves are great. Just on the point of goals set for life. In business, career do we set goals the same? We know what we want to achieve. But do we actually set the steps in a plan to achieve those goals? Surely if we did, we would now be in utopia? Just a thought.

Pressures build. We don't always make the correct decisions. Our masks crack. Pieces start to drop off.

I will get back to my question.

How often do we hear the words, ‘why didn’t she/he tell me? How did I miss the signs? If only?’

These questions we ask once someone dies. Especially when it is a life cut short. We rack our brain to find a reason. A why has that happened? We normally get what we want. Don’t we? Why can’t this be overridden? Every age is affected. Every family is involved.

Today we seek support from external agencies to support us through trauma. We learn how to turn away from what hurts. We shut out the noise by deleting individuals from our social media. There becomes a distance of silence but extreme hurt. Anxiety. Shame. Guilt. Fear. Our mask becomes thicker. Now no one close can see who is causing the pain. We hide deep away behind our mask to protect others we love. The people who love us who would help you deal with the problem or at least share it cannot see anything that says there is something wrong. The tipping point comes along and no one is any wiser of how helpless we feel. No one knows we are about to explode. The mind tries to analyse every thought and outcome possible. It becomes awkward to try to explain to others for fear of being thought of as careless or stupid. We all make mistakes. Sometimes, though our mistakes come about from our vulnerability at a weak time. We are preyed upon by those who like control or a feeling of their own superiority. How they mould, for want of any other word, individuals into a way of life for their success and benefit. Individuals become tied to another or addiction, for the wrong reasons. They cannot share as they feel the ramifications could hurt or harm innocent people so it is kept boiling up inside. Eventually the innocent is the hurt party. The abuser is still living the lie of deceit and betrayal.

When this point is reached some see no way back and feel the only way is to step off the bus. They have worn their mask so long and have been ‘abused’ for so long they can see no way out. What does the ‘abuser’ get out of this? Let off the hook, the only connection to their wrongdoing is no longer here. But families are left trying to find answers. Answers we will never know.

For anyone still reading, I thank you for your patience, what I am trying to say is we should encourage more chat. Better listening. More awareness of one another's lifestyle. Who do we all work, play or catch up with for a quick pint or chat? The ‘abuser’ will always play the ‘woe is me card’ and threaten the ‘abused’ with behaviours that good, honest people worry will cause them more harm if shared. All walks of life are affected. All ages in life, in some form of this, are affected.

Some may try to stand up for justice but have lost confidence to start. Some start then can’t continue. What is obvious to everyone is the ‘abused’ life find themselves somewhere they never wanted to be but cannot continue to live with. While the ‘abuser’ doesn't care. Shows no interest and carries on repeating the same behaviour to other unsuspecting souls. Like disease in humanity, they spread their cancer which bereaves families.

During these silent times, no one else knows. The ‘abused’ can only stand back and pray they might find themselves hearing someone else in similar situations. This only lets them feel they are not alone and some other good soul has also become a victim.

If this is you? Stand up and speak. No one will judge you. For some, the fear may be too sore to open up from.

If you feel you know someone who may be an ‘abused’ can you reach out?

Until we as a human race can identify and weed out these ‘abusers’ there will always be families bereaved and saddened by the unnecessary loss of a loved one. Not because we failed but because the ‘abusers’ are deviously entrepreneurial in their approach no one catches a glimpse.

For now, my mask is staying put. My ‘abuser’ may recognise themselves and stop further misery. But then again, perhaps while they never cared for me in the first instance, they continue knowing they have stolen my life and that of my family, and that their actions will eventually shorten my life for their own gratification………

Who knows?

My advice? Come back in 10 years…

Fri, 25 Jan 2019 19:05:54 GMT

My advice? Come back in 10 years…

This is what I was told when I approached a funeral director to find out how they choose the celebrants they use and what they thought made a good celebrant. I was at the start of my training and was looking for a bit of inside information but all I got was patronised.

You see I’m only 32, cursed or blessed depending on how you view it, with a baby face so I don’t look my age. When I approached this local funeral director they asked absolutely no questions to find out anything about me or why I wanted be a celebrant, I was just told I looked far too young and that families ‘probably wouldn’t feel confident with someone so young doing a service. Come back in 10 years and we’ll talk about it’. Even now I find it amusing that someone in the funeral industry, surrounded by death and seeing how it comes in every form from old to young, sudden to expected, would advise someone to come back in 10 years. After all, I could have walked out there and got hit by a bus or worse, a deranged granny with an Iceland trolley!

Why did I choose to become a funeral celebrant you may ask? Well, get comfortable dear reader, because I’m about to tell you all about it.

In June 2015 my husband and I discovered we were expecting our first child. My grandmother who I called Nona, my best friend in the world, was in hospital receiving treatment for cancer. She was getting home soon and I had absolutely no reason to think she wouldn’t meet the little bun I was baking.

When we announced the news to her the first thing my beloved Nona asked me was what did I think I was going to have? At this point the ‘baby’ was a tiny blob so we had no way to actually know but I always thought I would have a girl. Nona agreed, she said ‘a wee best pal of your own’. I told her she was my wee best pal of my own. She looked at me and said ‘I won’t be here forever’.

My Nona had this horrible habit of being right. 10 days after I told her my news my best friend died with all of her family by her side. I was bereft. We started planning her funeral, I wanted to carry her. It seemed only right that I carried her to her final resting place when she had carried me (physically, emotionally, financially…) throughout my whole life. My family wouldn’t allow it due to my pregnancy so it was decided I would speak at her service instead. The minister came and we made the arrangements and I set to writing about my best friend and the glue that held my family together, I could have spoke for hours, it’s easy to write about someone you love isn’t it?

The funeral came and I stood up and I told that church full of people why my Nona was our family’s Queen of Sheba. Anyone in that room that didn’t know her well left there knowing about her love for her family, the time she was hiding in her dining room watching ‘gang fighting pigeons’ in her garden and of course the legendary moment she got her head stuck in the gap at side of the tumble dryer. They knew it all. The peace I felt after that day was comforting. I knew we had given her a wonderful send off and we told her story.

Afterwards I had lots of comments about what I wrote and how I spoke. I’m infamous for writing long Facebook posts and I have a great aunt who always told me ‘ You need to do something with your writing’. I never did.

Fast forward to 2017 and once again cancer claimed the life of a much loved family member. This time it was my husband’s step father. He had been in his life over 20 years. He was grandfather to my daughter and she loved him very much, we were all heartbroken. I had known him only 11 years at this point and when his funeral came round I settled myself in the funeral directors and began to listen to the civil celebrant who would tell me everything I didn’t know about this wonderful man. Or so I thought.

On this day I learned some of the most important lessons about being a celebrant without knowing it at the time.

My mother in law was upset after the service, she felt the celebrant didn’t really understand who her husband was. He had taken some facts down incorrectly, he had focused on parts of my father in law’s life that weren’t significant and made them sound more important than they were. He never sent anything to the family to fact check, he never got back in touch after the initial meeting, he just went with what he had and those errors devastated my mother in law as she now felt that the last act of love she could do for her husband and her best friend was to give him a perfect send off and tell his story and that hadn’t been done in her eyes.

She felt a duty to contact the celebrant to thank him. I advised her to let him know of his errors but she was of the opinion that it wouldn’t change anything so why bother.

My father in law loved life, he was always learning new skills and trying new things. He had hobbies that included everything from singing to yoga. He was never afraid to try something new or meet new people. He was amazing. That day of his funeral we as his family made a pact that we would learn something new in his honour. My mother in law told me that I was to train to be a celebrant so no family would ever feel how she did at that point. I agreed I would do it. I had been speaking about it to all my family for a while, now it was time to actually do it.

Have you ever looked into to celebrant training? It’s a minefield. I was bombarded with various training academies, long weekend courses, day courses, courses that lasted months! Prices ranged from £500 to £3000! I was absolutely overwhelmed. All I wanted to do was help grieving families tell their stories. I’m an absolute people person. I’m nosy by nature and I love getting to know people. I love hearing stories of old times, sharing memories that bring a tear and a smile. I love knowing what your granny did as a teenager, what dancing she went to meet your granddad and whether your great grandparents liked him at first. I didn’t need a degree in English, I didn’t need a week long course on how to write a eulogy. I needed people who were like me, who would train me and believe in me and what I could do. I found them.

I was working at a networking event, catering for 12 people who I was convinced (before they had walked through the door) were a cult! I didn’t have a clue what networking was and I was a bit worried I was going to leave that night with a shaved head and a 555 tattoo! Instead, I met the most wonderful group of people. Jim Meldrum arrived, I instantly felt comfortable (not a razor or tattoo needle in sight!) I felt like I had known him before. The rest of the group followed and the meeting started but being busy cooking for them I missed a lot of what they were all speaking about until I heard ‘we’re funeral celebrants’ and my ears pricked up. After the meeting I asked Jim if he could introduce me and that is how I met the angels in the purple cardigans.

The training I received with Cherished Reflections was more than I would ever have got on a long weekend to Timbuktu. I had hands on training, I was taken to meet families, on tours of the crematorium, introduced to the staff and to funeral directors. I was given the skills I needed that I didn’t already have to do the job I absolutely wanted. I loved every minute.

My first funeral came round before I knew it and I met with the family of a 43 year old man. I got a real feel for who he was and was confident in telling his story. It was a great tale of a lovable rogue. A lovable rogue that I felt like I knew after writing his story. After his service a relative approached me and told me she hadn’t seen him for a long time but after listening to me she felt like she knew him all over again. I was elated.

In September last year I was on a break away with my daughter when I got the absolutely devastating news that a lifelong friend had died suddenly. She was 31 and left her husband and 2 young sons. The grief was unbearable. Attending her funeral I listened to her dad, her sister and her mum speak and tell her story. They blew me away with their strength and courage. I was in awe of them. It made me more determined to do my job for the families I worked with. I thought already knew most of her story, she had been my friend for over 25 years but turns out there was so much more to her than the beautiful, smiley soul that once asked ‘where is the Great Wall of China?’

My friend was far too young to lose her life, it wasn’t fair. We as her family and friends were left to deal with the grief but first, she was to have the funeral befitting of her and the person she was. Her parents and sister made sure she got exactly that. Her story told, the lives she touched and the funny stories that made us all laugh through the tears, her family made sure of that. I walked out that day with a sore heart, a very puffy face and the upmost admiration for her family.

Less than a month after my friend died I lost my very much loved Granny, a sudden loss that knocked the stuffing right out of me and my family. We simply weren’t expecting it and somehow it made it all the more painful. We’re a large family, my Granny had 6 kids and more grandkids and great grandkids than we could count. Every time we tried we got a different number! I had 2 funerals to do in the coming days and the day after losing Granny Avril I had to meet a grieving family who had lost a lady not too much younger than her. This was my first true test as a celebrant. Putting my own grief aside to ensure this family had my full attention was difficult but due to my nosy nature the minute I was in there I was all about the lovely lady I was writing about and I got to know her and her family.

The funeral came and went, it was difficult but thanks to the amazing support of Kathleen and Christina I got through it and the subsequent one we did later that afternoon. I was content that I had done a good job for the family even though I could have happily rolled into a ball and hid from the world at times. It was time now to deal with my own grief and support my family during the planning of my Granny’s funeral.

The day I went to the funeral directors to see her was a difficult day. I still can’t really speak too much about losing my Granny so forgive the lack of content here. Her funeral was the most fitting service. It had a live New Orleans band playing, a giant yellow Hook A Duck made out of flowers and an order of service full of photographs showing her life and loves. The most important part? When her children stood and spoke about their Mam. That was the bit that everyone laughed and cried at. My granny had a very full life, she had great friends, a large family and extended family and when my granddad was still alive they travelled all over the world making memories. Her story was told, songs were sung and the band played. Everyone said her funeral was exactly her and it was.

If you can do one thing for the people you love when they die, make sure their story is told. Find out everything you can about them while you have them. I recently seen a video on social media called ‘Interview Your Relatives’ and I think it’s something we should all try because I think we will all be surprised at what we could learn about them.

I absolutely love my job, I deal with families at their most vulnerable and grief does different things to different people but I’m sure you’ll all agree with me that giving your loved one the send off they deserve isn’t about lots of flowers, a fancy casket or pie and peas in a fancy hotel after. It’s about having their story told, memories relived and everyone leaving talking about them with a smile on their face even if their hearts are heavy.

With every day that goes by, every family I meet and every service I perform I am so glad I never took the advice of that very first funeral director. I did come across her again, when I was in saying goodbye to my Granny. She approached me and asked how I was. I told her about my success meeting the ladies from Cherished Reflections and that I had completed a few funerals for families who had no issue with how young I looked and thanked her for looking after my Granny.

I don’t hold grudges. That lady just made me want to prove her wrong and I’m confident now that I have.

So there’s my story of why and how I became a celebrant. If you’re still awake I thank you. This is a story that one day will become part of my story. I hope it will be a long time before that happens but if the last year has shown me anything it’s that we never, ever, know the minute.

Enjoy your life, make memories that will make your story a bestseller.

Nicole x

Change of Plans

Wed, 23 Jan 2019 16:52:28 GMT

White out. Snow. Wow! Today was a real game changer for everyone. Think Mother Nature wanted to remind us what Season we were in and dumped the cold white fluffy stuff on us to shake us straight back into Winter with temperatures we had forgotten could exist at this time of year.

Many of us slipped, slid and froze their way into what we had planned for today. Within 5 minutes we found ourselves chittering and wishing we had no appointments in the diary or had taken the day off work. Few of us could indulge in changing our plans to remain cosy indoors. For me I am so looking forward to better weather as a day at home catching up on admin, emails, invoices and paying bills is hard work no matter how cosy it was.

Reflecting on the past week we have met up with some truly amazing people. People who work relentlessly for the benefit of others who may be ill or recuperating. Alone and needing friendly chat and company. While we busily carry on with our plans, even when they are changed at the last minute, we are not all aware of those living with ill-health, terminal illness, loneliness or sadness that as with many of these, none were planning for. For them their world changed in the same few minutes our day changed with the weather. With the weather we settle back into new plans and get on. Having your world thrown into orbit isn’t so easy to settle into.

Those we met told their story of how their team, no comment on what an individual has done, but as a team how they have planned, organised, brought ideas together were they could see how individuals could be supported. Tea-rooms have formed, Chatting is chirping, singing groups have started while working on new projects to help more in need. These Volunteers are relentless however it was heartwarming to hear they are inundated with people wanting to help. All of these Volunteers are wonderful beings with big hearts.

In our capacity as Will Writers we found ourselves working with a family who were in need of support from other third parties to help them focus on being a family living together having fun and not worrying so much on all the things we all endure in life that take away our happiness, free spirits and the joy of raising a family of enthusiastic, energetic and full of life children. It is very rewarding to be in a position to make these changes to help others. This gives us great satisfaction in being able to make a difference to someone’s life.

Prior to Christmas we made a lovely memory for a good friend and follower of our team and all that we do. The Lady wanted us to make a memory keepsake for her Mum. We were presented with her Grandmother’s, her Mum’s Mum, cardigan the Family had kept since Grandmother had died to transform into a bunny. This was a touch and go timescale as to whether it could be made, delivered and presented on time for Christmas. Husbands come in handy. With one in particular husband’s help the memory keepsake reached its destination in perfect time by personally driving the now bunny 40 miles on Christmas Eve. We shared the normal photos on our FB page and this one was seen by someone who knows the Family who felt the need to enquire if the Mum’s Husband had died and this was a memory for him. I hope you are managing to keep up here! On relaying this story to the Lady who ordered the keepsake, she fell about laughing thinking how this must have looked to a few more people who knew her Mum & Dad, who is very much alive!

Now with all this going on I do wonder at times how any of the team have time to for themselves. Watch this space as one of the team has been renewing our uniform by hand making us new tailored jackets as well as full on busy family life. We have a team member who seems to have a thing about soft play areas were her daughter can climb to extreme heights. That in itself is bad enough but she films when she has to enter the enclosed area to retrieve her daughter. The latest member to join the team has had a difficult time recovering from a back injury but has been seen venturing out to meet families.

We all experience a change to plans most of the time during our day and life. We are resilient to a point but if we could be sensitive to others changes for whatever reason and just be there it could help and make a difference. I have been very fortunate this year already for friends I have who have been here for me.

As the evening’s temperature is dropping and we consider our cosy fleece pj’s and socks, have a thought for anyone who may need a wee call for a chat to lift their spirit, arrange to drop by for a cuppa. A wee food parcel. Whatever someone else needs, you making a change to your plan to enquire will make a difference to their day!

Changing our plans is an action we control. Plans having to change for some outside interference can be out of our control.

Im looking forward, as I bet you are, to the weather heating up again! Night All.

Cherish Your View

183:718026516 (Christina Sorley) — Wed, 16 Jan 2019 10:21:18 GMT

Our thoughts for the new year and planning ahead.

Here in the West, The Irn Bru Carnival in Glasgow shut its doors yesterday to draw a close to the Festivities for this winter. I am sitting warm and cosy in the sitting room with the curtains drawn to hide away from the dark, cold evening outside. As I sit in front of the coal fire watching the golden, orange glow of flickering flames I reflect on life.

We push ourselves to work, trying to negotiate with the kids to get into the school routine and to check on everyone’s busy diaries ensuring we have all the Doctors, Dentist and Hospital appointments recorded to fit into the hectic routine.

We settle down for tonight after kids put to bed, tidy up after the teatime kitchen massacre, bathroom dried off after Free Willy has been in to wash off the mud from rugby practice. One call made to check up on Granny & Grandad all okay then it’s an opportunity to take some quiet time for a cuppa and a magazine or a 20 minutes on the treadmill / exercise bike before we prepare for the up and coming next hectic day! And we are back on the treadmill of life once more….

This evening we hear on the news bulletins there is, yet another problem with Brexit. Brexit in all its glory has been the political forefront for quite some time now. Some are fed up hearing how the voting process was flawed, fixed or illegal from the concept and now we hear the results coming through tonight have really set the cats among the pigeons! We get drawn into the discussions and debacle about how we will ensue the fall out from this latest catastrophe. Worry about how this latest update will impact on our lives.

Your life is full on with living and enduring many tasks, looking out for the youngsters, caring for our elderly while we strive to find the perfect Family holiday, Weekends away with Friends, Girls and Lads nights out, Children Birthday Parties and family days out. Weekly food shopping and meal preparation. Budget for the coming Bills about to fall through our letter boxes and land with a thump on the hall floor behind the door. Figuring out what the latest Political rumpus means for us when I’m interrupted by the telephone.

The phone rings and I am told of the death of someone I met back in December. What a shock. For me in our Business we deal with the Dying on a daily basis, meeting families at their most vulnerable time and when their emotions are all in chaos. The shock of hearing this news puts what matters in life into perspective. This individual did exactly the same as you and I of an evening. Carried the same burdens, challenges and hopes for the perfect life. Death does not permit you to plan around when it will attack, there are times when we do know in advance but these times carry similar burdens on the Families and Close Friends. As Humans we don’t like to talk about dying. We hide away from the thought of it and the idea of raising the subject with loved ones to share how we see our funeral being carried out. How we see how we would want to take our final journey in life. What type of car? Coffin? Cremation? Direct Cremation? Burial? Church service? Which type of Officiant? Hyms? Music? Where would I be scattered? How will the Funeral be paid? What about our Will? Have we left this to the Government to share our inheritance with who they choose to? Have we arranged a funeral plan and a will?

This is easy for us to talk about and to put arrangements into place for our final journey, as we work in this industry. This is something we would urge everyone to take a moment to say to our loved ones. We need to take some time out to talk about the second, most definite outcome we will face in life, after birth.

My thoughts are interrupted by the family dog voicing his right to my attention now that I have taken time to sit and ponder on life, and death. Time to adorn the wellies and raincoat to leave behind the cosy fire. On this note, the dog is another ‘person’ we need to plan for should the inevitable happen.

My part of the bargain is I walk the dog while the kettle boils for the tea to brew.

Talk to your loved ones. Take time to organise your funeral and have your estate protected for those you love and will leave behind. Your death will be a big enough impact on their lives. You, we all, owe it to one another to take some time out of our busy schedules, irrespective of what is happening politically in our lives, to prepare for the least expected. Night All

Cherished Reflections Funeral Celebrants - Our Story

Mon, 30 Jul 2018 20:57:58 GMT

Learn what is a celebrant for funeral services in Glasgow

It all started at a young age surrounded by many cousins. Life was a blast back then! No cares or worries. Just being kids. We shared, learned and argued until we all fell down asleep as the end of a busy satisfying day! Our Family was integrated with all the inlaws and outlaws and we learned how to manage the demands of increasing numbers to the play date. How to negotiate what to do, where and when. Look out for the younger ones by listening to what we were told by the adults. Hold hands, Don’t cry, give a cuddle and share the food and juice.

It was no surprise then to find myself working as a supporter, assisting people to work together, to care and look out together to achieve personal and Business goals. Throughout my career this was my profile. Passionate, mature. Always there when people needed me, always knew the right thing to say, and always able to help. I have met hard times and struggles, lost family members along the way, however through good spirit and an amazing set of skills inbred to me, although daunting, I have managed to overcome them.

I developed my career into Human Resources which I loved. Continually thriving in the knowledge I was caring and being there for people’s welfare and supporting the business until the day it changed. The move to figures are more important to people. Cost became a priority. People, even with support felt lost and let down and I no longer had job satisfaction.

I became a Consultant to support Businesses to maximise their talent and improve their processes and systems to achieve a happier working culture, To enhance Businesses to be ‘an employer of choice’ which was very hard work.

This is when I looked for something different. Something that could allow me to use the skills I learned from childhood. Be respectful. Caring. Supportive. Give something back. For 18 months I researched training options, training venues, costs and finally chose my preferred supplier. Unbeknown to me, one of my cousins from my childhood years was doing the very same thing! We talked and listened, two very important skills, and from that day forward Cherished Reflections was born!

Christina, who is my Business Partner, and I have travelled the country to learn our new venture. We received amazing one to two training and have an excellent support with our trainer who has since become a good friend. We took time and effort to learn and prepare for our first request to carry out a service making sure we had covered everything we needed to know. We went out to meet all third parties who we would be working with and have now a lovely family of Funeral Directors, Funeral Arrangers and Crematorium Services Staff that we now call our ‘grown up family’

We are cared for, supported and loved by these individuals as we reciprocate the support and love.

Our Goal is, and will continue to be a cornerstone for those who are living with bereavement and loss. We listen and take notes while hearing families remember the lovely, funny, happy times they recall of their loved one. We strive to turn their time of sadness to a time of Joy in celebrating the life of their dear loved one. We compose their story into a fitting a loving farewell with their chosen music that fits their loved ones life. There is humour and sadness mixed bag of emotions all drawn together with the total family input.

I respect my Parents for the love they surrounded and provided for me to now have the skills to which I can support families with the same respect at their time of need.

Humanist funerals get a little help

183:718026516 (Christina Sorley) — Mon, 30 Jul 2018 20:33:09 GMT

Humanist funerals & celebrants get a new member of staff...

We have been greeted at our services held in the Linn Crematorium for a couple of weeks. Very contented to meet the Hearse each time and once everyone enters the Chapel he disappears